It has been quite a few months since I have blogged here. It was so because it has been more of experience rather than concepts, ideas or thoughts that could be explained in words…. and it is not an experience of miracles or mysteries but simple wonders, pain and joy of every day life as we live the moment. I have also been reading, listening and learning, and reflecting on what I read, listened to and learned, all along.
My experience has been that the experiences on the way to reach Self is highly subjective, personal and sometime even deceptive. Curiously, what should otherwise be simple journey gets incredibly confusing by many layers of deception.
Of what I have encountered, perhaps most formidable one is my own Ego. Mysterious are ways and means of ego colors everyday experience, blinding the vision
There could be significant role for Guru, for good and bad. Guru can be guiding light, but what appears to be a guiding light may not lead you, unless it is the right Guru.
Equally important is reference documents, often called spiritual texts but then these are often interspersed with rituals. Many can be seen to end with mere rituals with no regard to the underlying spirit.
The real problem is not Guru or reference point as much as one’s own bias and inhibitions. Often, one tends to hold on to these blindly. These can be initial reference point to get started, or they can also be intermediate reference points. They can help and guide. Problem is only when one holds on, and become end in themselves. If you start revolving around it for too long, it is time to move on
Further, we have all along been trained and tuned to trust mind and intellect. Both mind and intellect base their inferences on experience through five senses. Five senses are limited by design. Mind and intellect too that dwelve on these too are limited, constrained being set in a wrap of fixed time and space apart from impressions and patterns of earlier experience coloring observation. In short, everything and everyone that one encounters is questionable, and the absolute truth is beyond all these layers of great illusion.
Essentially, journey is are purely personal and all experiences are subjective, with nothing to explain and no one else can know/realize what you experience
uddharedaatmanaathmaanam na aathmaanamavasaadayeth
aathmaiva hi aathmano bandhu: aathmaiva ripuraathmana
which roughly translates to mean ‘you are your friend, you are your enemy too. you need to lift and guide yourself’